Every couple of weeks we had ‘salesmen’ knocking on our door to ‘bring us Jesus’. I remember being a young girl, perhaps about eight or nine years old and continuously asking my Mum to buy me one of the golden bibles they were selling. My Mum was very clear about ‘not wanting God in the house’ and wouldn’t waver; unless it was Christmas approaching, or someone had pushed her buttons. Then there was some serious ‘God-calling’ around the house but mainly in curse-form. When I grew older I started to dissect the phrases and it didn’t really make sense. Honestly, why would someone ask God to damn themselves? How weird is that?
Sometimes someone would startle her, making her instantly call upon Jesus or Maria; I never got to find out which one was called for, in which type of situation. Another way of asking God for ‘help’ would happen when she needed revenge. She’d then speak to the, for me, invisible God and asked revenge for whomever had done her wrong. Other than the above situations, there was no God allowed to enter our home.
Luckily for the persistent little me, I kept pestering her for one of those golden bibles. It had the most beautiful golden colour I had ever observed, and the drawings inside were so vibrant that it added ‘life’ to the stories I’d discovered in there. As you notice, I had been able to take a sneak peak in one of them as my Mum tried to get rid of the ‘salesmen’, which obviously was at the root of my ‘golden-bible-quest’. It had been a matter of months, (or at least, that’s how it felt for a girl my age) before she came through, as every time the ‘salesmen’ knocked on our door to ‘bring us God’ she’d tell them to ‘shove him through the letter box’ or to ‘put him on the stairs as they close the door behind them’.
One good day I arrived home in a massive ‘mood’, as was normally the case when I had to go home, and went straight to my bedroom. I used to sit on the roof hoping that one day the birds would snatch me away from life as I knew it, simply because I had given up hope that my pet-bunny would ever be able to do anything good; other than eating, sleeping, pooping and peeing. Anyway, I got to my bedroom to find a package on my bed. It was heavy and had a rectangular shape… I opened it and it must have been one of the most precious moments I had during my childhood! My Mum had bought me the golden bible and I will always love her for that.
Thank you Mum for that gift, wherever you are.